Scenery Tumblr Themes

Rachel 20 Boston


faith.music.biffs.tv.hoodies.
peace.5'0.beach.converse.cats.
reeses.neongreen.toms.drinks
ravenclaw.bieber.skinnies.
hookah.laughing.guys.koalas.
barbie.eyeliner.city.concerts.
onedirection.march.disney.

hope everyones fourth was amazing (:

hope everyones fourth was amazing (:

still—getting—there:

✿♡rosy/summer blog,i follow back♡✿

still—getting—there:

✿♡rosy/summer blog,i follow back♡✿

I don’t usually do this, but tonight it just felt right. I’m going to actually write on my blog. Lately, I’ve been getting use to this routine:

1)Wake up and eating something to say I had breakfast

2) Go to work and contently interact with people or animals (I work at a zoo)

3) Travel back home, play with my cats, eat dinner and go to bed. 

(repeat daily) So anyways, I don’t have an issue with this routine. I’m on my own, content and the days end more quickly. Before someone goes ahead and calls this depression, literally its not. I am too much of a happy person to ever be depressed. I enjoy the busy schedule because it gives me something to do. It is like it’s own hindrance for emotions. I literally have no time to feel a certain way about things. However, when I have the time I realize how emotional I am. I am ecstatic when I come home and am able to interact with my family. Its a great thing because when I am away at school I do miss them. But in the summer…when I’m home…the feelings are clearly not mutual. 

I am a strong person, I have dealt with the reality of feelings being one sided, or me putting in more work than another person whether its a friendship or even a relationship. But I should be able to unwind, be myself and not worry about a thing when I am surrounded by my own family…shouldn’t I?

I guess these are just a bunch of random thoughts jumbled together. I don’t really know what I feel, but I know I am not happy here. But when I am with my closest friends I am always the happiest because we enjoy each others company and cherish our time together. You don’t know when things will be taken away from you, or how you’ll feel afterwards.So people need to get the poles out of their asses and smile once and a while! Be considerate! Make someones day a good one! Its not just you’re world, emotions are contagious…

Bottom line, I have learned to worry about myself, entertain myself and depend on myself. I am slowly growing into a more independent person. And it is sad that being constantly pushed away has brought me to this state of mind.

or maybe this is just the reality of growing up…?